Raindrops
by LilyoftheValley4
Summary: After Meredith's argument with Derek, George isn't there to take away Meredith's keys and keep her from driving drunk. Set during Raindrops Keep Falling. Oneshot. MerDer


A/N: A quick apology to all my fans waiting for an update to my story Have You Forgotten but I got this story idea stuck in my head and I just had to get it out of my system. This is a one-shot story based on the Season 2 premiere "Raindrops Keep Falling," A quick refresher for those who may have forgotten. Addison has surprised Derek by showing up at Seattle Grace and Meredith finds out that Derek is married. George punched out Alex after he found out Alex had slept with Olivia and through Olivia George had gotten syphillis. Meanwhile, Joe from, Joe's, collapses in the bar while Meredith, Christina and George are having drinks. My story opens up after they bring Joe to the hospital. Derek tries offering Meredith Joe's chart after saying he's going to attempt a stand still. Meredith turns him down claiming she's drunk and leaves the hospital. That's all. Enjoy!

Raindrops

"Meredith!" Derek Shepherd took a fast walk through the doors of Seattle Grace Hospital, his white doctor's jacket lightly tapping against the back of his legs.

"Go away!" Meredith shouted back. She was just a few steps away from stepping out from underneath the hospital's overhang and into the normal curtain of rain that clouded the city of Seattle, Washington.

"Just wait. We should discuss this." Derek insisted, following Meredith relentlessly.

Meredith turned on her heel to face him, her eyes stormy. "Here's a thought. No! Quit following me!" She made a motion to head back to the parking lot, but was stopped by Derek's voice once again.

"At least let me explain."

"Explain? You know when you should have explained? The night we met in the bar. Before any of the rest of it. Yeah, that would have been a good time to discuss it."

"Look, I know how you feel." If there was one line Meredith didn't want to hear, it was that.

"Do you?" Meredith demanded as she caught her breath before speaking more and more with increasing anger. "Somehow I doubt that. Because if you did, you would shut up, and you would turn around and go back inside, because you would realize that I am this close," Meredith put her thumb and pointer finger about an inch apart, "to getting in my car and running you down in the parking lot!" Meredith gave Derek one last angry glare before turning around and letting the cold rain fall on her numb body.

Her heels clanked loudly on the asphalt, breaking the lull of the falling rain. Derek watched her leave, frozen between the desire to run after her and the slight fear that she might actually be capable of following through with her words. However, the idea of the physical pain almost felt welcomed at the moment. Meredith's words had never cut so deep. Never had he wished to be someone else, anyone else so that he didn't have to be the object of Meredith's anger and pain.

He watched the tail lights of her car flash on amongst a grey parking lot of indistinguishable vehicles. The red was soon joined by the strip of white as the back of the vehicle suddenly came into Derek's full vision. He watched her jerky movements as the white lights disappeared so that they were just red. Derek frowned as he noted how she seemed to over correct when she attempted to straighten her tires and almost hit the rear end of a parked car before taking off down towards the end of the parking lot.

Derek sighed. He wished she'd given him a chance to explain. If she'd known what had happened between him and Addison…He knew that she'd understand. He had no intention of getting back together with Addison, not after what she did. It was unforgivable. _Meredith will learn the truth_.

"Where is she? Meredith? Where'd she go?" Shepherd glanced to his left, slightly surprised. He had not heard George O'Malley approach him or the sound of the automatic glass doors of the hospital open and close. He guessed the sound of the rain had blocked it out.

"She left," Derek answered tiredly.

"What?!" The frantic tone in George's voice sent a chill through Shepherd's body as he turned to face George fully. "You let her leave? You didn't stop her?"

"I tried, but—" Derek began confused and stopping when he realized George wasn't paying attention.

George began patting the pockets of his jeans before shoving his hand down the right front one and pulling out a cell phone. "She's been drinking! She shouldn't be behind the wheel!" He immediately began dialing and put the phone to his ear.

A splash of coldness began to run down Derek's spine and his heart began to pound. Derek didn't think she'd been serious when she'd that she was drunk before leaving the hospital. _But she showed up with, Joe, which meant she was at the bar. How could I have been so stupid? _Derek chided himself. He turned anxiously towards the exit of the front of the hospital, searching anxiously for the tail lights of her car. In the distance and slowly getting louder, he barely noticed the sound of an incoming ambulance.

"Meredith, it's George. If you get this and you're still driving pull over and let me come get you or call me when you make it home. Just call me." Derek glanced over at George who just slammed his phone shut. He looked scared, which did nothing to calm Derek's nerves.

He glanced over towards the exit of the parking lot again and just caught sight of a familiar pair of lights disappearing along the side road of Seattle Grace and heading towards the highway. Without thinking or giving any plausible explanation as to what he hoped to gain by chasing after a car that had a good head start, he left the protection of the hang over and sprinted into the rain.

Derek heard George calling after him, but all Derek could think about was Meredith. The frightened expression on George's face was engraved in his mind and George didn't even know the half of it. Meredith had not only been drinking, but Derek knew she was severely emotional at the moment. Those two things were not a good combination. Derek had been a surgeon long enough to know that.

Derek felt his clothes become heavier and droopy as he ran. The gentle taps of his coat against his legs turned into a fuller smack that may have been louder if not for the pounding of his heart in his ears and the sound of rain falling all around him. He reached the grassy median slightly out of breath that allowed him to look around the corner towards the road.

It happened in a few seconds. Derek was sure that if he'd blinked he would have missed it all, but his eyes were glued to the seen before him in disbelief. He watched Meredith's car drive down the road and begin to drift slightly to the left, just barely crossing over the double yellow line and into the lane of oncoming traffic. The other lane was clear, but the siren of the approaching ambulance pierced his ears. He could see the foggy beginnings of headlights, signaling an approaching vehicle about to round the corner. Unfortunately, it didn't seem as if Meredith caught it till it rounded the corner and came into view.

Derek didn't know if it was the painfully high-pitched siren or the twirling red and white lights that caught Meredith's attention but she swerved suddenly as she seemed to realize she was heading straight for the oncoming vehicle. Just as Derek had seen in the parking lot, she over corrected, but this time she had speed. A hard turn to the right had her crossing into the far right lane of the four-way street. Her car hopped the medium up a steep grassy bank. In a seemingly last effort by Meredith to control the car the front wheels made a hard left that turned out to be a big mistake. If Meredith had continued with the straight path up the hill, her car would have ran out of speed and slid back down to the road before reaching the fence at the top that blocked the entrance down a steep ravine. Her last minute decision caused her car to directly hit the cement base of a light post.

For a moment it seemed if all sound had reached its climax. The ambulance at its closest point to Derek before turning into the back entrance of the hospital, the rain falling hard against every surface, breaking glass, and the eye-clenching sound of ripping metal all came together at once. Metal grinded and crunched inwards at the unrelenting force of the cement block to stop the cars motion. The ambulance moved away and parked; its siren turned off. The car's motion ceased and the engine fell silent. All that was left was Derek and the rain.

Derek waited for just a moment in a breathless pause. Like a NASCAR audience anxious to see a driver drop the safety net he watched on fearfully for a sign of movement. None came. A second later, Derek took off towards the car. He could already see that the entire front half of the car was smashed in. As soon as he reached the car, he could see why Meredith hadn't walked out.

Just looking through the rain-streaked window he could see Meredith's form lying what looked like a giant white pillow. In a simple picture one might have thought she was simply sleeping. Derek reached for the door handle and pulled up on it roughly only to find it locked. He looked at her form and then glanced around frantically for something he could use to break the window with. He spied a large rock in the grass not far from where he was standing. He picked it up and debated for a moment what to do with it. He took a few steps back from the vehicle before clutching the rock tightly in his hand, pulling his arm back, and heaving it towards the back driver's side window with all his might.

The glass gave way and Derek turned away quickly and covered his face just in case any shards flew in his direction. He glanced at Meredith's still form as he turned around to look at the damage he'd caused. The hole in the window was fairly large, roughly the size of a soccer ball. The glass all around the hole was cracked.

Without a second thought, Derek reached his hand inside and amongst the pieces of glass in search of a way to unlock the back door. He could feel some of the broken glass around the hole fall against the car; some pieces hit the pavement and some bounced off his hand and landed inside the car. He finally found a metal lever that he pulled up on before pulling his hand out of the window and grabbing the outside door handle. The door opened easily and Derek jumped in the car for his first good view of Meredith.

She hadn't moved at all. Her thin figure was being pushed away from the steering wheel by the white airbag. Derek was relieved to see the tension in the seatbelt that fell across her chest, knowing that it had kept her from being ejected from the car. His relief was short-lived when he saw a trail of red falling down from the airbag from a wound on her forehead he couldn't see. Her eyes were closed, but a brief look at her chest and he could see that she was at least breathing.

He reached gently to the side of the driver's seat to the master controls and hit the button to unlock all the doors. He then crawled out of the back seat, wincing as he placed his right hand on the glass-covered seat to push himself out the door. Shoving his own discomfort out of his mind he rushed to the driver's side door once again and pulled on the handle. This time it opened easily. Immediately, Derek began assessing the situation and doing his best not to move her as he did so. He pulled out his pen light as he placed his thumb and pointer finger around her closed eyelids in order to force them open. He couldn't be positive in the darkness of the car, but it looked like the left pupil was more dilated than the right.

Knowing he could do little more till she was out of the car, Derek reached for his Blackberry and immediately dialed the hospital's number as he asked for a gurney and gave them his location. He placed his fingers on the vein in her neck to get an idea of her heart rhythm. He found it, but he frowned slightly at its lack of strength. He pulled his hand away and let his eyes search her all over to try and find any other obvious signs of wounds. Aside from the head wound that he hadn't been able to look at in case her neck was damaged, he couldn't see any other sign of injury, which did not put him at ease. There was still so much that could go wrong and it was always with things that couldn't be seen.

"Dr. Shepherd!" Derek pulled away from Meredith momentarily as he caught sight of Dr. Burke and Alex Karev wheeling a gurney while George followed a few strides behind.

"In here," Derek cried, his voice cracking slightly.

"Shit."

"Meredith." The single exclamations from the two interns were enough to speed Derek's heart up further. Derek stepped towards them momentarily before stepping back abruptly like he'd just been jerked back by an invisible leash. He couldn't manage to leave her side.

"Heart's unstable. She has a slow rhythm. Possible concussion, cranial hemorrhaging, and spine and neck injuries," Derek told Burke quickly. Burke gave a sharp nod.

"Go inside, Shepherd," Burke ordered as he grabbed a neck brace and headed to the driver's side of the car. He ran his hand gently around her neck before sliding the brace around her neck and gently closing it.

"She needs a neuro consult. I'm the attending!" Derek yelled back. As he looked anxiously on.

"Karev, I need you to come over here and take her legs. We want to place her onto the gurney with the least amount of movement possible," Burke said as he unfastened the seat belt. Alex nodded and came over to help Burke. Derek reached over and grabbed the gurney to move it closer. He watched on anxiously as Burke slid his arms under her armpits in order to get a firm grip on her chest. Alex meanwhile wrapped his arms around either side of her legs.

"Count of three," Burke grunted. "One. Two. Three." Both of them lifted at the same time and managed to gently slide her out of the car. They placed her gently on the gurney as Burke had planned without excessive movement to her neck and spine. As soon as she was on the gurney, Burke and Karev lifted the metal railings up and began moving towards the hospital. Derek made a move to follow them, but found himself being pulled back. He turned in surprise to find George standing there, watching Meredith be rolled away and then turned to Derek.

"You're—You're an ass. You did this, you know. You're just—an ass," George said, slightly flustered in his worry for Meredith and anger towards Shepherd. He strode past him, almost running into him, which Derek knew was purposeful. Derek stood there for a moment shocked. Out of all of Bailey's interns, George was probably the least outspoken, and here he was yelling at an attending, officially his boss, for hurting Meredith. The funny thing was Derek felt like he deserved it.

* * *

Alex and Dr. Burke rushed into the front doors of Seattle Grace with Meredith between them. "Hold that elevator!" Burke yelled as he saw the doors closing. Alex let go of the gurney and ran ahead.

"Come on people, everyone out. Catch the next one," Alex commanded as he ushered people out of the elevator. During their brief elevator ride, Dr. Burke took the time to listen to her lungs and heart. Then he repeated Dr. Shepherd's neuro check. As soon as the doors opened, Dr. Bailey stood waiting for an update.

"BP's 80/50 and falling. Possible cranial hemorrhaging. We need X-rays and a CT," Burke rallied off as he and Alex pushed the gurney.

"Let's get her stable first."

"Take her to OR 3," Dr. Burke called as Bailey followed the gurney. The group of surgeons ran past the surgical desk, catching the eye of Izzie Stevens.

"Meredith?!" She said in surprise. She left the chart she'd been going through on the counter. "Dr. Bailey!" She called running after them.

"Not now, Stevens!" Bailey called back, but Izzie followed them all the way to OR 3. Bailey watched Meredith go through the doors and then stood before them to face Izzie.

"What's going on? Was that Mer—"

"Dr. Stevens, you will remain on this side of these doors. Attend to your patients, I'll give you news as soon as we have any," Dr. Bailey explained quickly hoping that she could at least keep Izzie out of the room if not working.

"But Alex—"

"Will assist only until he's not needed." Dr. Bailey gave Izzie one last glare that clearly sent the message across for Izzie to stay put.

"Izzie." Izzie turned and saw George approaching, looking wet and angry.

"George! Bailey wouldn't tell me anything but they took Meredith into the OR. Do you know what happened?" Izzie rushed out, anxious to be filled in.

"She was in a car accident, leaving the hospital," George mumbled solemnly not able to look Izzie in the eyes. "She'd been drinking." Izzie closed her eyes briefly, looking terrified.

"We've got to go in there, George. We can't just stand here. Christina!" Izzie said like an epiphany. "She doesn't know. She should know, George."

"Izzie, calm down," George said doing his best to sound soothing. "Meredith, she's going to be—she's going to be alright," George said more as a plead than as a voice of comfort.

Izzie nodded blindly. "I'm going to get someone to page Christina." Izzie walked over to the nurse's station. George looked around the hospital feeling out of place for the first time since the day they started their internship. He wasn't working, he wasn't a patient, but someone who was forced to sit and wait for news.

George stood there, wondering if he should sit down or maybe if he should put on some scrubs and try to get a little work done while he waited. His gaze stopped however, when he caught sight of Dr. Shepherd exiting the elevator. He ran a hand nervously through his wet wavy hair as he stepped off. His eyes followed Shepherd all the way to the nurse's station where he inquired as to where Meredith had been taken. The nurse explained and Derek turned around and made eye contact with George.

"Dr. Shepherd," the nurse said calling him back.

"Yes?" Shepherd turned halfway to meet the nurse's gaze.

"I've got orders from Dr. Bailey that you are not to enter the OR." Dr. Shepherd sagged visibly as he turned back around and was forced to meet George's eyes once again.

"They need me. They need a neurosurgeon. I have to go in there," Derek whispered as he focused on the window for the scrub room, hoping to see into the OR.

"She doesn't need you," George said, his voice low and harsh. Derek let the comment slide, but it hardly just rolled off of him. It felt like something had just clenched painfully around his heart.

"Dr. Shepherd, do you know anything about Meredith?" Izzie had reappeared again. Her anger unlike George's had been momentarily forgotten as she seemed to cling to any hope for news. Derek shook his head.

A few minutes later, Alex stepped out looking angry. Izzie, George and Derek looked up expectantly. "How is she?"

"She's got an epidermal hematoma most likely as a result of her head hitting the wheel. They inserted a breathing tube. No signs of spinal or neck injuries. Her BP was 92/60," Alex explained. "They wouldn't let me stay." A silence fell over the group.

"Are we stalking Shepherd now?" Christina asked as she approached the group, looking puzzled.

"No, Yang. Meredith got into a fight with a light post," Alex said.

"What?" Christina said now genuinely concerned. Izzie explained what little they knew as Christina's eyes widened in shock.

"She wins," Christina breathed, then before anyone could stop her, Christina had moved passed George and entered the scrub room. She caught sight of Meredith lying on the table. She could see the tube to the large ventilation machine sticking out to one side of Meredith's mouth. Dr. Burke had donned the eye scopes and light and was looking intently at an open incision just above Meredith's forehead. She could see some of Meredith's hair lying on the floor. Her heart rhythm was currently stable and her BP was just as Alex had said.

She watched as Dr. Burke suddenly shook his head, causing the light to shift from side to side as he spoke to Dr. Bailey. Dr. Bailey nodded and left her position by Meredith's side to reach for the phone on the wall that unfortunately was facing the scrub room. Bailey saw Christina instantly and frowned. She picked up the phone however and made her call before disposing of her gloves and making her way to the scrub room.

"Do you think you're special or something? I told the others to wait outside and you need to do the same."

"With all do respect Dr. Bailey, I can't do that."

"And why not?"

"Because—" Christina knew that there was so many ways she could have answered her question, but she also knew none of them would have been satisfactory enough for Miranda Bailey. "She's my person."

"Your what?" Bailey demanded with a raised eyebrow, but then she changed her mind. "Never mind, I don't want to know. Just take your persons and McDreamys' outside. We'll give you an update as soon as we have one to give." Bailey looked at Christina expectantly. "Go." Christina turned around slowly and walked back out to be with her friends.

"She's stable," Christina said to their probing questions.

"That's it?" George demanded. "That's all you know?"

"Think you can do better, Bambi?" George immediately turned away. "Thought so."

Alex gave Christina a pointed look. "Well, if we keep going in there Bailey's going to have us all doing Pit for months."

"Excuse me." They all looked over at a tall man with short brown hair who had his arm placed between Alex and Christina in a motion to push them out of the way.

"Dr. Snyder?" The interns nearly jumped in surprise, forgetting that Derek Shepherd was among them. Shepherd had been standing away from the rest of the group, leaning against the opposite wall, his eyes focused on the door and his ears trained on the intern's conversation for news.

Dr. Snyder looked around and spied Dr. Shepherd. "Dr. Shepherd," he responded giving him a curt nod as Alex and Christina moved out of the way of the door. He opened the door and got rid of his lab coat and revealing his blue scrubs. The door shut before any of them could see anything more.

"Dr. Shepherd, who was that?" Izzie asked, looking at the closed door in confusion.

"Dr. Herman Snyder. He's a neurologist with a PhD in neurosurgery." The color had drained from Shepherd's face as he saw his colleague enter. Still, none of them knew what to make of Shepherd's reaction. Before anyone could ask however, Shepherd turned the corner and disappeared.

* * *

"Derek?" Derek looked up hopefully for a moment, but then found his eyes right back on the ground in disappointment. If he'd been paying more attention, he would have known the voice instantly.

"What do you want?" Derek asked gruffly.

"What are you doing here?" Addison took a seat beside her husband, ignoring the spite in his question. Derek didn't answer the but Addison could tell something was wrong. Derek's eyes were downcast and his face limp like it was in a permanent frown. "What's happened?"

"Meredith," Derek murmured with an affection Addison hadn't heard him use with her in a long time. She cleared her throat and tried to push the thought out of her mind.

"What about her?" Addison coaxed. She tried to put her hand on his arm, but realized she'd gone to far when Derek pulled his arm away abruptly.

"She was angry at me. We fought. She'd been drinking at Joe's. She left here and I didn't realize…She crashed her car." Addison listened carefully to try and understand. She seemed to be missing some of the details but the point got across. Meredith Grey had been driving drunk and crashed her car. Addison felt as if she'd been slapped. Here she was being forced to comfort her husband because his girlfriend was in the hospital. Yet there had been no tears from him when he'd found her in bed with Mark. No yelling, no nothing. He'd just disappeared. Now he was falling to pieces over a girl he'd known for only a few months.

"Derek, I'm so sorry," Addison soothed. That she could say with truth. As a doctor, Addison never wished anyone to become sick or injured. Despite any jealousy that thoughts of Meredith could provoke, Addy genuinely did not wish Meredith dead.

"She's was drinking because of me. She was angry because of me. It's my fault." Derek had come to this conclusion during his hour of solitude. He'd thought back on George's accusation and anger, only to find it justified. If only Derek had been thinking he could have stopped her from getting into that car. He was the only one who could have done anything to prevent this from happening.

"Don't be stupid, Derek," Addison said sharply. "Meredith is an adult and responsible for the choices she makes. She should have never—"

"You're doing this now? Really, Addison!" Derek said standing. He began to pace.

"What, Derek?"

"Blaming, Meredith. It wasn't her fault you slept with Mark. That was on you and you alone!"

"I didn't say that."

"But that's what you meant. You ended this—us. You don't have the right, Addison." Addison was quiet for a moment. He had never seen Derek get worked up so easily and over nothing. During their marriage, she'd rarely ever seen him get this angry. But most of all, he'd never gotten this angry over her.

Addison understood that he was dealing with a lot of emotions at the moment and that his instinct to lash out verbally for Meredith had partly to do with the fact that he blamed himself for their argument moments before her accident. She also knew that her unwelcome presence stirred a lot of what she considered unresolved emotions and questions that he'd avoided asking when he left New York for Washington. But the protectiveness and worry was something she hadn't seen since Derek's residency. The first few years of their marriage had been perfect. They would come home from the hospital and order in food and watch television. Then a brief make-out session on the couch would have them moving to the bedroom. Back then, the sex had been good; really good.

But Derek had gotten better at his job. He moved through his residency with high marks. He became more involved with the hospital, his patients. Addison became the intelligent and beautiful wife to Derek Shepherd that everyone wanted to be, but they didn't really know what it was like. Only the nurses seemed to have any clue what the life of Addison Montgomery-Shepherd really was like. Mainly because of the countless messages she would leave for Derek while he was in surgery. The numerous pages she would have them make just so her husband would call her. Even the times he would make it home for dinner or there would be a possibility for a quiet evening, he was distant. The sex was good when it happened, but not like it used to be and definately not as frequent. Their morning kisses became habitual rather than emotional and everyday just seemed to be the same as before.

Addison suddenly understood and she felt a tightness in her chest at the revelation. "You love her," she whispered quietly.

"What?" Derek stopped pacing and faced her.

"You love her," Addison repeated again. Derek didn't know what to say and Addison knew he didn't have to. It was all over his face, in his eyes, and in the way he'd acted towards his own wife for the last few years of their marriage. Derek had thought he'd found the part of himself in Addison that would make him whole. But years of marriage had shown Derek that it wasn't true. Whether Derek had realized this, Addison wasn't sure, but she could judge for herself now. During his leave from their marriage, Derek had found the correct piece, in an intern at Seattle Grace.

Addison stood up, feeling slightly shaky at what her thoughts had concluded for her in such a short amount of time. Her life, she had a feeling, was about to change drastically, but that realization had yet to come. "I—I hope Meredith pulls through," Addison told him as he passed. Derek looked at her, his head tilted to one side ever so slightly. The two of them still needed to talk, but Addison knew it could wait. She gave Derek a small attempt at a smile and made her way towards the door.

* * *

The interns had been sitting outside of the door to OR 3 for the last hour and a half. George had remained sullen and quiet the whole time, even when Izzie attempted to coax him into conversation. Eventually, his snappy replies had finally convinced her to give up. Alex during the time seemed to find it impossible to sit still. He would stand up and pace for awhile and then sit down and tap his knuckles against the floor or play with the battery compartment of his beeper so that it would unlock and snap shut repeatedly. This got a glare from Christina.

"If you don't knock it off I'm going to shove that thing up your—"

"Christina!" Izzie shouted.

"You know what, I can't do this," Christina said shaking her head and standing up.

"And what are you going to do, Yang? Barge in there and demand an update? Go ahead, worked so well for you last time," Karev said cheekily.

"What are you even doing here, Evil Spawn? Run out of nurses to give syph to?"

"No, wanna go?"

"You called me a nurse." She looked over at Izzie and George. "He called me a nurse. First Meredith and now me."

"Christina," Izzie said looking worriedly back and forth between Christina and Alex. Alex got to his feet and looked down at Christina.

"I don't fight girls, Yang. So you can un-bunch your panties."

"Oh, you did not just—"

"Stop it!" The interns looked over at a very tired looking Derek Shepherd. "Meredith is fighting for her life and you guys are behaving like children."

"You're one to talk," George spoke, surprising everyone. "Dating Meredith and carrying on like you have been when you're married! She deserves better!"

"Look, George, I am sorry that I didn't tell Meredith. I should have, but everything that happened is between me and Meredith. The fact is I do not regret what we did." Izzie looked at Derek like she was about to swoon. She was the first one to really understand what Derek was saying.

"That's crap," Christina said. "You can talk about how sorry you are and all the good times you and Meredith had, but the real fact is, you broke her. I'm not even speaking metaphorically here. You literally broke her and she's better off without you." Christina stared Derek down and stuck fear in Derek in a way that he thought possible only by Miranda Bailey.

"Ah-hem, I hate to break up the party." Izzie and George stood up abruptly as all eyes turned to Dr. Bailey who'd just closed the door to the scrub room.

Bailey's eyes shifted questionably between Derek and Christina as she answered their unasked questions. "Dr. Snyder got the bleeding under control and removed the clot. The brain's swelling has decreased significantly since. Her BP's stabilized and aside from some bruised ribs, she doesn't seem to have obtained any other injuries." Their was an air of relief among the group. "We've moved her up to the ICU. She's doing well but it's the next twenty-four hours that are crucial. In the meantime, Yang, O'Malley, go home. There's nothing—" she started but as Christina and George began to protest she spoke louder. "There's nothing any of you can do. So go home. That includes you, Stevens and Karev."

"But I'm on call," Karev protested. Izzie nodded as well to confirm that was her situation as well.

"Not any more. Go home. I don't want to see any of your faces till tomorrow." The group of interns disbanded with low grumbles leaving just Derek and Bailey. Miranda avoided Shepherd as she headed over to the nurses station and picked up a chart. She however, felt Derek's presence behind her.

"Do you think if you stand there long enough I'm going to let you see her?" Miranda asked him without turning around.

"You let Dr. Snyder operate. You let a resident operate and not me."

"Dr. Snyder is a fine surgeon and a surgeon who knows better than to get involved with interns," Miranda said as she started walking with chart in hand.

"That's beside the point. You needed a neurosurgeon and I'm the best that this hospital has got," Derek said his frustration evident. Miranda stopped in her path and turned around to face him. Derek knew the moment she stopped moving that he'd stepped too far, but these last couple of silent hours had made all the frustrations of being left out come to light. Miranda just happened to be the first person for him to come across who'd been involved in the surgery and that was very unlucky for him.

Miranda glared at Derek. "Hey, hey, hey. First off, the person standing before me; not a neurosurgeon. You are merely a scared ex-whatever whose emotions have gotten the better of him. If you were a surgeon that wouldn't matter. A surgeon lets the world disappear around them so that it's just you and the person's life you're trying to save. How would you have expected to operate when your world was lying on the table?" She finished her question with a raised eyebrow, but said nothing to elaborate. She didn't seem to expect an answer as she turned away and headed for the elevators.

* * *

The interns kept their promise but appeared bright and early the next morning. By this time, rumors were circulating by the other interns about the night's events.

"I heard that Dr. Shepherd is married."

"Married? Are you kidding? Wasn't he dating that intern?"

"Yeah, poor girl. I heard she found out she was pregnant and ran her car into a tree."

"You know what I heard?" Christina said sweetly as she turned down the row of lockers and found the two interns looking at her in surprise. "I heard this rumor that if you don't shut up about Meredith Grey I'm going to introduce your heads to your colons. Yeah, enema that." Christine left them staring in disbelief. She could hear the sounds of George fumbling to catch up with her, followed by Izzie.

"That was awesome. You were awesome," George told her.

"Live and learn, Bambi." Christina clipped on her ID badge as she headed up the stairs.

"Uh, where are we going? Shouldn't we be meeting Dr. Bailey for rounds?" George asked.

"We're going to see, Meredith!" Izzie said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. They stepped foot onto the floor of the ICU and made their way to the desk to find out what room she was in. Seconds later, they were heading back down the hall to Meredith's room.

"Bailey's going to be so pissed," George said under his breath.

"No one asked you to come along," Christina stated. "You could just go back and wait for her, just please don't tell mommy on us."

"Mommy already knows," Bailey said coming around the corner just as they were about to reach Meredith's room. "What I don't understand is why my interns think they can do anything they want whenever they want. This is a hospital, you are doctors. You have patients that are sick. If you're out wandering the halls who is going to treat those sick patients?"

"But Meredith—"

"Meredith is fine. She's one of those sick patients that are healing, meanwhile you all have your jobs to do. O'Malley you're doing labs. Yang's in the pit and who did charts two nights ago?"

"That was Alex," Christina spoke up.

"Stevens, redo his charts and give them to me by noon today. They're at the nurse's station."

"But they're Alex's charts," Izzie protested.

"Alex is attending to a patient on my orders. Do you have something better to do?" Bailey asked pointedly. Izzie didn't respond. "Didn't think so, now move!" Before Christina turned away, she glanced through the window of Meredith's room and caught sight of Meredith's form covered in blankets. The same tube she'd seen in the OR still in place. But that's not what caught her off guard. She was positive that she saw Derek Shepherd asleep in a chair beside her bed.

* * *

Derek turned over, wincing at the pain his neck. He blinked, trying to take in his surroundings and figure out where he was. At first, he thought he was in the on-call room, but he felt his hand shift and he realized there was another cold hand inside his own. His eyes shifted to the figure lying in the bed beside him and the previous night flashed before him.

After the surgery, Derek had taken a seat in the same chair he was in now. He hadn't moved all night. Dr. Bailey had come in several times throughout the night to check on her, but never once did she say a word to him. Meanwhile, Derek had taken it upon himself to monitor her stats as well. Her BP had risen to a much normal rhythm and her heart rate had remained steady throughout the night. They were all good signs, but what Derek was really waiting for was for her eyes to open and her ventilator to be removed.

"You're going to be late for rounds," Bailey said speaking to him for the first time as she came into the room.

"No change," Derek told her as she came to look over Meredith's vitals.

"That's good for now," Bailey said as he scribbled some notes on the chart. "Page me if there's any change." Derek smiled lightly and gently put her hand back on her bed as he stood up and stretched. He glanced at his watch and saw that it was 5:02am. He needed to get coffee.

He leaned over so he could whisper in her ear. "I'll be right back." He pressed his lips gently to her check before turning around and leaving. Derek rubbed his eyes wearily as he walked down the hall and approached the coffee cart.

"Good morning, Derek." Derek looked up at Addison, clad in her salmon scrubs and a cup of coffee in her head.

"Addison," he said her name tiredly as he remembered their conversation from the night before. "Large, regular coffee."

"How's Dr. Grey doing?"

"Still on the ventilator, but stable," Derek said as he paid for his coffee.

"Good, glad to hear it. Let me know if there's anything I can do," Addison finished off hesitantly as she turned to walk away.

"Thanks," Derek said. Addison paused in step for a moment but did not turn around. Derek took a tentative sip of his coffee as he watched his wife walk away before heading back to Meredith's room. His pace turned to a jog as he saw Meredith's body begin to flail in the bed. He set his coffee down randomly as he looked at her stats. Her heart was racing, her eyes were open and her hands were reaching for the tube.

"Shh," he whispered to her gently but firmly. Relief began to flow through his body. She was fighting the tube which meant she could breathe on her own. "Meredith, you need to relax. You need to let the machine breath for you. Relax." Meredith looked at him, wide-eyed, and fearful before settling down and letting the machine take over. Derek ran his eyes over her stats once again before he sat back into the chair by her head. The sound of the machine filled the room for a few minutes before Derek spoke again.

"Meredith, I can't even begin to say how sorry I am. I blame myself. I should have told you about Addison," Derek said looking into her eyes. "If not the night at the bar, soon after. The fact that I didn't was because—was because I didn't want it to end." Derek shook his head as he struggled with the words. "But you didn't deserve this. You do however need to know the whole story.

"One night I parked my car, I unlock my front door, go inside my house, and something 's different. Nothing's different, everything's the same, but yet, still, something's different," Derek said in a sort of distant voice that made Meredith realize he was reliving the story as he told it. "And I stand there for a while. And then I know. See, there are moments for me, you know, usually when I'm in the OR, when I just know what's gonna happen next. So I go upstairs. As I'm walking down the hall, I trying to prepare myself for what I'm gonna see when I go into my bedroom. I step on a man's jacket that doesn't belong to me. And everything I think I know…just shifts. Because the jacket that doesn't belong to me is a jacket that I recognize. And what I know now is that when I go into my bedroom, I'm not just gonna see that my wife is cheating on me. I'm gonna see that my wife is cheating on me with Mark, who happened to be my best friend. It's just so pedestrian, common and dirty, and cruel. Mostly just cruel. I left, came out here," Derek finished.

Meredith closed her eyes briefly as if trying to take it all in. Derek turned away, his eyes turning to the floor. "I know that if you'd died last night, Meredith, I would have died with you. There's nothing left in my marriage but this piece of metal on my finger. I know I'm to blame for all this, but please don't leave me, Meredith. I need you."

Derek glanced over at Meredith. Her eyes were still closed. He leaned back in his chair, letting his head dangle over the back of the chair and rest against the wall thinking that she'd fallen back asleep. That was until he felt her tiny cold hand be put on top of his own.

He sat up and took her hand in both of his as he looked into her eyes. They were slightly teary, but it seemed she would allow no tears to fall. A look, deep inside her eyes sent him a message that was loud and clear. _We have things to talk about but right now we're okay._

Derek grinned. "That works for me."


End file.
